Week 3

This week was hard.... no idea why, too. I'm struggling with showing a loss about mid week - so I go into panic mode (aka starve). I know, it isn't good to do that, but that is what I did. Seriously, did I mention this week was hard?

2 days before weigh in I was up a half pound. ergh. And yesterday morning, I was up 1-1/2 pounds. what the hell? I know the bigger you are, the easier it is to drop/gain, but geeze. 1-1/2 pounds UP a day before weigh in? Really? It isn't like I scarfed down a bag of Cheetos or anything... so needless to say, I was ticked - but mostly down.

The expression "it gets harder when you get older" keeps haunting me - I always had youth on my side. I also had determination & dedication, too. (when I was on ww). If you tell me I can't do something - the hell I can't. But weight is something I've never been able to control. Never.

So something has to change. I love it when someone says "you've lost weight". And how clothes fit better, etc. Who doesn't? And I love being proud of myself - as it has always been a control thing. I've always felt that people look down on me/fellow big people as if we our out of control. Like a crack addict or an alcoholic - food is my drug of choice.

But what I've realized lately is that food isn't my best friend. In fact, it actually seems like more of an enemy. One that I have to get along with. Hard to do.

And I've also found that I feel full quickly, and don't like that feeling. My brain is saying "hey, you still have some food to eat" but my body isn't agreeing. A battle I'll have to figure out.

After struggling being up a pound and a half (ok, I'll admit it, not eating dinner last night) I was down that this morning. What happened magically overnight? How can I fluctuate 3 pounds in 24 hours? But I did. I was officially down 1.2 pounds at ww - so my total is now 7 lbs in 3 weeks. I've done better with ww, but I was heavier and younger, too. My husband didn't have a good weigh in today - but as a couple there is still less of us than last week.